So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
