super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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