all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
