i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
