"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
