Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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