Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
