But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
