how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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