Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How does one acquire holy water?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
