let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
