what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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