tell your sister to shave her snatch
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
