yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
this boner is exhausting
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
