I just saw a hot homeless man
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The adults are the big ones right?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
