don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
