We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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