I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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