so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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