He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
