so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
