You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
