Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
