dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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