Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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