sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
