Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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