WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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