the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
