its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
