i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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