it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
