I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How external is "for external use only"?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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