Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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