ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need water and some morals
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
