Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
