i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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