I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
