dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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