Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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