She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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