Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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