Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
