Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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