Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
