what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
