Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
