your room smells of hookers.
And success
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
