My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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