Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
