Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
