i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
