I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
