woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
